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29-May-2016 08:31

or at least one night of vulnerability-induced sex and an incredibly awkward morning after full of regrets and mint-schnapps-flavored vomit. Check any of the many “I’ve been friend-zoned” or “Nice Guy” rants on Facebook or Reddit or Tumblr – no, seriously, go ahead. Except of course he isn’t, he doesn’t and quite frankly, he’s probably not really in love with her anyway.I’ll wait – and you’ll see a recurring pattern: “She doesn’t want a nice guy, she only wants those assholes who treat her better. A true friend doesn’t make his relationship with a person conditional to the idea that some day – maybe not today, but some day he’s not going to say anything: because as soon as he does, the illusion is ruined.All of the Nice Guy Points he’s accumulated drain away along with the fantasy that he might wear her down to the point that she would give in and he’s forced to acknowledge the ugly truth that it’s just never going to happen.At this point, the Nice Guy has two options: continue to hang around that he never stands a chance or to run away.So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do: 1.) Build a time machine.2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.

The issue of the “Nice Guy” is one that is close to my cold, mercenary heart if only because I’ve spent so much time in that mindset and every “I’ve been friendzoned” rant brings familiar echoes of ones that I wrote myself and broadcast to the uncaring world wide web – ones that fortunately have been lost to the universe, never to be seen againprinted the t-shirt (another college experiment that has been destroyed) I feel the need to educate my Nice Guy brethren as to just what the big fucking problem is with the Nice Guy world view and just Let’s start with the most obvious issue here: the supposed “Nice Guy” is a liar from start to finish.He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry.He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had.And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them.

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Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.He’s engaging in what is, for all intents and purposes, a transactional relationship or a particularly grind-y MMO quest line.



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